glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
