What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
