we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize