Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
