I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Terrible idea I love it
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
