It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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