Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
