Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
