this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My life is pants optional.
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