whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
