in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
