Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
