I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
