i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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