your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize