Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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