Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
