I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
