But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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