sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
