He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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