you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
