best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
