We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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