She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
