Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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