so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i now understand why vodka
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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