we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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