I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
