its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
