pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize