Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
