at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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