It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
