yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
