I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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