something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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