And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
