GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I need a hoe opinion
go on
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
