Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
