i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
