you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize