Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
