I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
