There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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