Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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