how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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