i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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