Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
