Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
