he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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