That's intense
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
