new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
