i jhust puked up my retainher.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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