nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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