This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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