Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
