So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
