like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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