4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
