I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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