strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
